Self-Care Ideas
By Sue Chambers
When my daughter was first diagnosed, no one told me—or maybe I just couldn’t hear it through the trauma-induced fog—that recovery could take three to seven years. I remember deciding, with absolute determination, that I would learn everything I needed to and have her well in six months. Looking back, I think I simply couldn’t process reality.
I also remember hearing the words “don’t forget self-care,” but I ignored them. At the time, it felt impossible and unimportant compared to the urgency of keeping my child alive and stable.
I pushed forward, neglecting myself until I came dangerously close to burnout and breakdown. It wasn’t until then that I realized how wrong I had been. That’s when I began to turn things around—slowly, imperfectly, but meaningfully.
Self-care became less of a buzzword and more of a lifeline.
We’re now three years into this journey, and my daughter is doing so much better. The eating disorder affected all of us, and I’ve noticed something recently: as she heals, I heal too. It’s like our progress is connected—the better she does, the stronger I feel, and in turn the better she does again. In hindsight, I think I would have been a better caregiver at the start if I had cared for myself more. I’m working on that now and learning how much it really matters.
Below are some ideas that help me and may offer you strength, hope, or even just a moment of rest. Keep going—you’ve got this!
Self-care ideas:
Radical Rest
* Allow yourself to quit—sometimes the most healing thing is to collapse into bed, then get up the next day and begin again.
Nourishment for Body and Mind
* Book a massage once a week—and don’t feel guilty. Follow it with a nap if you can.
* Take daily walks—morning to set intentions, evening to release the day.
* Make beauty a ritual—watch one sunset a week or take a golden-hour drive with music.
Escape and Enjoyment
* Keep a novel on hand (not an eating disorders book).
* Solo drives with music—blast Taylor Swift and sing loud.
* Shared drives with your loved one—play the music you love (and they don’t… ha ha).
* Tub time with your partner—wine, warm water, and no eating disorder talk allowed.
Self-care Practices that surprised me (I used to think a lot of this was mumbo-jumbo.)
* Tapping (yes, it really works).
* Pilates, yoga, or vagus nerve exercises for grounding.
* Earthing—walk barefoot in grass, then rest under a tree.
* Dry brushing—good for lymphatic flow, but I just love how it feels.
* Diaphragmatic breathing—YouTube has free “how to” videos.
Emotional Reset
* Journal anger, fear, sadness—then lock it in your Notes app.
* Track the good days—seeing progress written down can give you hope. I promise you, at some point it will shift to just the bad days.
* Mail yourself a letter, or ask others to send you real mail.
* Change your phone wallpaper—use a picture of your child when they were little and well
Learning and Connection
* Educate yourself on eating disorders, EFFT, and DBT.
* Practice kindness—small random acts replenish your own wellbeing.
* Dream together—my husband and I often talk about life for us after recovery (college is only 2 years away!).
Advice From Other Caregivers
* Therapy for yourself—individual or group.
* Run away… to the movie theater alone (bonus if it serves dinner).
* Buy new pajamas—early days of recovery when you’re stuck at home = permission to stay in them all day.
* Try breathwork or meditation apps. Calm is an excellent one.
* Art therapy at home—sketch, paint, or color– it doesn’t need to be a masterpiece.
* Cook something just for you.
* Volunteer—shifting focus outward lightens the load.
* Garden—watching things grow restores hope.
* Buy flowers—make one arrangement for yourself, one for your loved one.
* Buy a plant—seeing it thrive is deeply satisfying.
* Pet therapy—walk, cuddle, or visit a shelter.
* Take mini-retreats—coffee shop, park, or beach, no agenda.
* Celebrate small wins—drop slips of joy into a “win jar.”
* Create rituals—candles, playlists, or cozy blankets for “you time.”
* Cut out or pause relationships that drain you. Protect your peace.
* Limit social media—it protects your nervous system which is already working overtime.
Self-care is any action you take with the intention of caring for yourself. Research shows that this deliberate, compassionate attention to your own well-being reduces stress, supports resilience, and promotes both mental and physical health.