Practicing Self Care

July 24 is Self-Care Day, a day meant to remind us that taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish,it’s essential.

Research tells us that regular self-care improves mental and physical health, boosts happiness, strengthens our immune system, increases resilience, and reduces stress and anxiety. It also makes us better caregivers and helps protect us from burnout.

I know… I know. 

I rolled my eyes too.

Actually, I think I mentally flipped the bird when our care team first mentioned self-care.

Because when your child has an eating disorder, self-care feels like the last thing you have time for. Every ounce of your energy goes into keeping someone else alive, safe, nourished, regulated, and moving forward. The thought of taking time for yourself can even feel selfish.

But here’s what I’ve learned.

When my daughter was first diagnosed, no one told me,or maybe I simply couldn’t hear it through the trauma,that recovery could take three to seven years.

I was convinced I could learn everything there was to know, work hard, and have her recovered in six months.

I know… I’m laughing with you. 😝

I also heard people say, “Don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

I smiled, nodded… and completely ignored them.

It felt impossible. More importantly, it felt unimportant.

There was simply too much to do.

So I kept going.

I learned everything I could. I became the meal coach, therapist, nutrition assistant, medical monitor, advocate, conflict negotiator, emotion coach, scheduler, chauffeur… and somewhere along the way, I disappeared.

Eventually, I found myself running on empty.

About two years in, I wasn’t just tired,I was depleted. I was ready to give up. I simply didn’t care anymore… about anything. I really scared myself.

That’s when I finally understood something that no one had been able to convince me of before:

Self-care isn’t something you do after recovery. It’s something that helps you survive recovery.

The healthier, calmer, and more regulated we are, the more we can co-regulate our loved ones. The more resilient we become, the longer we can keep showing up for them. Looking after ourselves isn’t taking away from our child,it actually allows us to give them our very best.

We’re now four years into this journey, and my daughter is doing really, we still have work to do as college is around the corner fall of 2027.

As she has healed, I’ve noticed something unexpected…

I’ve healed too.

Looking back, I truly believe I would have been an even better caregiver if I had started caring for myself sooner.

So if you’re reading this while thinking, “That’s nice… but I don’t have time for self-care,” I understand.

I was you.

Ironically, that’s probably the biggest sign that you need it.

It doesn’t have to be a vacation or a spa weekend.

Sometimes it’s a walk, a therapy appointment, a cup of coffee in silence, twenty minutes in the garden, buying yourself flowers, taking a bath, sitting in the movie theatre alone, laughing with a friend, or simply giving yourself permission to rest.

Start small.

Start imperfectly.

Just start.

Below are some of the ideas that have helped me over the past few years. I hope one or two of them help you too.

Keep going.

Your loved one needs you…

And you need you too. ❤️

ChatGPT helped me organize, edit, and polish this article, but every story, lesson, and self-care idea comes from my own lived experience as an eating disorder caregiver.

Self-care is any action you take with the intention of caring for yourself. Research shows that this deliberate, compassionate attention (big or small) to your own well-being reduces stress, supports resilience, and promotes both mental and physical health.

Radical Rest

Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. Rest is not something you earn,it’s something you require.

• Allow yourself to quit for the day—sometimes the most healing thing is to collapse into bed, then get up the next day and begin again.
• Buy yourself new pajamas. During the early days of recovery you’re often home far more than you ever imagined. Give yourself permission to spend an entire day in them.
• Schedule “do absolutely nothing” time without guilt.
• Take a nap after particularly difficult meals or appointments.
• Create cozy rituals—a favorite blanket, candles, calming music, tea, or a good book.