From "Why me?" to "Watch me"

The moment the words “your child has an eating disorder” were spoken, the world as I knew it fractured. Receiving my daughter’s diagnosis was not just a life-altering event; it was a life-shattering shift in all things that once were. I remember the immediate, cold grip of dread, the certainty that our lives would never be the same. In some profound, painful way, I was right. The carefree normalcy we had cherished was gone, replaced by a relentless cycle of anxiety, vigilance, confusion, and fear.

The initial period was a fog of “what ifs,” “should’ves,” and “could’ves” The confusion was only the beginning of many sleepless nights —What did I miss? Did I cause this? Should I have pushed harder, or been softer? This self-inflicted interrogation, and the profound sadness of watching my child suffer, was paralyzing. It’s a loneliness that only another parent in that same boat can truly understand. Every moment felt hopeless, every meal a battleground, and every setback a devastating blow to hope. We were lost, navigating a terrifying, unknown sea without a map.

Now, years later, when I meet the family of a person navigating an eating disorder for the very first time, I see it immediately. I see the look on their face—a look that is all too familiar because it was the mirror image of my own. A mixture of exhaustion, terror, guilt, and a desperate, fragile hope. It’s the wide-eyed fear of a person who has just been told their loved one is battling an invisible monster. That glance ignites my superpower: the unwavering ability to connect through radical empathy and lived experience. I know their panic, I know their grief, and I know their resolve.

Transforming fear and confusion into focused, powerful energy is a call to action for every parent. Let’s learn. Let’s relentlessly educate ourselves about this complex illness, embracing the facts, stripping away the myths and stigma . Let’s understand what to expect from the recovery journey—the plateaus, the backslides, and the triumphs. Most importantly, let’s embrace that this is happening and that this is our new reality, not a temporary crisis. Acceptance is the first, hardest step toward true empowerment. When we are able to lose the paralyzing fear—when we replace panic with knowledge and isolate the illness from the person—the monster becomes less powerful. It is in this place of acceptance that we find our strength, not just to survive, but to guide our loved one toward healing. And in doing so, we turn a shattering event into a source of enduring, compassionate power.

My moment of self-discovery arrived one ordinary morning. I was standing before the mirror,  feeling the dread of facing another “groundhog day”. As I often did, I asked the universe and myself, “Why me? Why my family, Why my daughter? Why me!?”

In a flash, something shifted within me. The despairing “why me?” transformed into a defiant “watch me!” I met my own gaze in the mirror and repeated the phrase. “Watch me! Watch me do this! Watch me tackle the day and protect my child! Watch me not be afraid! Just watch me!”

This transformative moment changed everything for me. I felt true empowerment and determination. Not fear, just faith and hope. It is this same spirit of hope and empowerment that I now strive to bring to the families I support. Helping them find their own power and resilience and to realize that, even through this life changing event, they too, can tell the monster “watch me!”