Siblings of individuals with eating disorders may be greatly affected by their sibling’s illness, yet little research exists on the effects of eating disorders on and approaches to supporting siblings.Siblings may experience a variety of emotions<, some negative and others positive.Siblings may feel anger or resentment because their ill sibling takes so much of their parents’ time, energy, concern and support.Sibling may experience feelings of loss and loneliness as their typical relationship with the ill sibling changes and may be limited by the eating disorder.Sibling also may experience fear that they will end up with an eating disorder too.On the positive side, siblings may feel empathetic toward their ill sibling and may have a desire to help; however, often siblings may not be sure how to help.
•Provide siblings with information about the eating disorder, what is happening within the family and how treatment will proceed. Information should be provided based on the age and maturity of the sibling with the level of detail increasing the older the sibling is.
•Let siblings know how they can support the ill child.Some siblings provide support to the ill child by engaging in activities with the ill child (e.g., watching movies, completing a puzzle, scrapbooking, etc.) between meals.Others might give encouragement and sympathy to the ill child during meals and still others may be active participants of Family Based Therapy sessions.
•Reassure siblings that you, as caregivers, will do everything you can to help the individual with an eating disorder get better and keep them safe.
•Provide opportunities for siblings to talk with you about their experiences.
•Because extreme behavior is common, siblings need a plan for what they should do during these times. For example, you might tell siblings they do not need to help during the situation and suggest siblings go to their rooms, listen to music, watch tv, etc.Again, reassure the siblings that the eating disorder causes a lot of anxiety, this is temporary, will get better and you will help the ill sibling stay safe.
•Tell siblings anything the ill child says or does should not be taken personally.These behaviors are not a reflection of the sibling and the ill child does not mean to say or do them.They are responding to their own anxiety.
•Ask siblings to participate in family meals during most days of the week. This may mean making some compromises on typical activities, at least at first.
•As much as possible try to carve out time, even if it is briefly, for siblings to spend time with parents alone and engaged in fun activities.This may mean one caregiver stays with the ill child while the other is with siblings.
•Ask friends, neighbors and/or family members to help take siblings to their activities and help keep the sibling occupied (e.g., by asking the sibling to a sleepover, movie, trip to the mall, church, sports, etc.)
•To the extent possible, help siblings maintain healthy relationships with peers and other family members.
•If you find that siblings are really struggling to make sense of the eating disorder and what they have been through, consider individual therapy for them too.
F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered And Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) P.O. Box 331 ♦ Warrenton, VA 20188 ♦ USA ♦ (540) 227-8518 ♦ info@FEAST-ED.org F.E.A.S.T. is registered as a nonprofit organization under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code Information on this site is meant to support, not replace, professional consultation. Unless otherwise noted, content is edited by F.E.A.S.T. volunteers with assistance from our Professional Advisory Panel.
