Families often learn of a child’s eating disorder in their late teens and early adulthood. They often struggle, uncertain of their legal, ethical, and practical role during recovery.
* A mother from Australia shared her experience caring for her 18 year old daughter, “…Initially we were told to let her decide what to eat and whether she followed her meal plan or not was something between her and the dietician…She was 16 at the time. Well she just got worse and worse and several periods of hospitalization followed. She is now 18 and since we have followed maudsley we have no problem with insisting that she eat appropriate meals - she is getting better and accepting that we are working with her against her ED. Incidentally our taking control of issues to do with eating have reduced her anxiety…Yes she is an adult and …Any issue which slows her recovery we step in … So stand up to ED , no matter how old your daughter is because she needs you.”
* This parent of a recovered adult sufferer shared the importance of sustained medical recovery, “In my opinion, there is only one way out of this mess - it was for my daughter, who was also technically an "adult" when she became ill - and I see it over and over again on this and other boards. The treatment for eating disorders in whatever shape they come is refeeding. Normalizing weight and eating behaviors, and maintaining this for an extended period of time appears to help more than any other treatment available. If refeeding is done in a supportive, blameless environment, most sufferers get better.
* A 21 year old daughter recovered after a 5 year battle to survive anorexia, when her parents learned that she couldn’t choose recovery for herself. “…We spent 4+ years in the wilderness of "why" and in endless rounds of treatment with clinicians telling our daughter she had to "choose" to get better. …For us, …It was about recognizing our d's helplessness in the grip of her disease, and stepping in to give her the loving and firm support she needed to reach a fully restored and healthy weight. It was about sustaining that progress while her brain chemistry normalized, and her mind could think clearly again. Many families here have found that their children become "themselves" again once this is done.”
* “Our d is almost 4 months recovered & 17 1/2. …Prior to the ed, she was a completely rational, happy, very outgoing young lady. She's always been funny, and she's very intelligent. But 'Ed' took her away from us for a while; she was gone. …I can tell you now that she is whole and healthy & manages her nutrition on her own. Now that her brain is properly nourished and therefore working/reasoning properly, she realizes how sick she was... Mother's Day night she hugged me and thanked me for helping her recover; she told me she couldn't have done it with out me…”
* "A Total Loss" offers advice from one of F.E.A.S.T.'s professional advisors on legal and practical ways to address "CHOICE AMONGST LACK OF ALTERNATIVES".
F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered And Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) P.O. Box 331 ♦ Warrenton, VA 20188 ♦ USA ♦ (540) 227-8518 ♦ info@FEAST-ED.org F.E.A.S.T. is registered as a nonprofit organization under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code Information on this site is meant to support, not replace, professional consultation. Unless otherwise noted, content is edited by F.E.A.S.T. volunteers with assistance from our Professional Advisory Panel.
